Beautiful and Awful


Motherhood is one of those really weird life circumstances when it’s the hardest time of your life and the best time of your life. I’m not sure anyone could have explained this to me beforehand, and I’m certainly not complaining, but it’s one of those amazingly odd things you just have to experience for yourself.

Me and Finn in Nursery

I don’t want to miss a single smile, coo, or “crow” (as my grandmother refers to it), yet some days I’m so tired I have to remind myself to talk to him when he’s awake and alert.

Finn T-rex sock

I love to watch him enjoy a meal, crossing his little feet and kneading his tiny hands in complete satisfaction and delight. Then my stomach growls its protest reminding me that I’ve skipped a few meals playing with him, bathing him, or whatever else he needs.

Finn and the FAn

I’m getting to see the world with fresh, new-to-the-earth eyes, yet my to-do list sometimes yells so loudly over those moments, I can’t even enjoy the simple things that bring him pleasure.

Finn Monkey face

Motherhood is both beautiful and awful all at the same time, yet as I stumble through it, I pray that I learn something, find joy in each moment, and soak in his sweetness for all it’s worth.

Finn Pensive

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10 thoughts on “Beautiful and Awful

  1. Abby says:

    You are so right. I go back and forth on my feelings all the time. One moment I can be so angry about something they did and want to scream, and then later at night I am laying in bed almost crying at how sweet and precious there are. I have never been so moody in my life! Haha! It is something you can never explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it before.

  2. csgbaker says:

    I couldn’t agree more with the above “conversations” but your final sentence said it all. Soak in his sweetness for all it’s worth. Every moment redeemed!

  3. tmcree says:

    A perfect way to describe motherhood – beautiful and awful. It’s not something you know until you are a mother. Just remember that this is a season of life. When he is a little older, things will change and you’ll be able to take some breaks while he plays by himself on the floor or takes a nap. It will be a new season. Brad and I used to tag-team with our son. He had colic and sometimes it was so difficult. When I couldn’t take anymore, Brad would take over and visa versa. But you get beyond the awful moments – realize it is temporary and look forward to the beautiful! Enjoy the beautiful!

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